Today I made myself a to do list. On my list was to take 10 minutes and appreciate nature. Don't ask me why, I just think I don't take much time to do that anymore.
I decided to stop by the park after I took Parker to school. I love the trees and all their fall colors.
I parked over by the field and just watched the rain and leaves fall. It was really nice. I love rain and I love fall so it was a good combination.
As I sat there I remember sitting there at 20. I was with my dog Kandy (She died a few years ago) and it was a really windy fall day. I remember that I went there because I was unhappy and just wanted to get out of the house. I was living with my Mom and her husband, which I didn't like. Her husband wanted me to move out, hated my dog and hated my cats. Also my family was pushing me pretty hard to get my own place. I should have had my own place by then, but I was only working part time and going to school part time. I wanted more than anything else to move out, but I just didn't have the money.
My Mom's husband, now ex, made my cat and her kittens live in the dark garage. He wouldn't even let me leave the light on for them. I thought it was just horrible and snuck down to turn the lights on for them and visit them as much as possible.
I hated living with him and I hated being an adult not on my own.
I went to that park with my dog and just sat under that tree and prayed. I prayed for an answer. I prayed to get out on my own, to find someone I loved, and to just be happy. I felt very lonely sitting under that tree with my dog. I imagined what it would be like to be just alone and it felt very sad.
When I came home, I decided to just give all my problems to God. I just couldn't handle them anymore. I wrote them all on strips of paper and put them in a box. As I put them in the box, I gave them to God and promised not to take them back. I knew that I couldn't do anything about my situation at the moment, but He could.
A few months later, all of my prayers had been answered. I met Bobby, my Mom and her husband moved to a different house, Bobby and I moved in together, got married, kept our pets and had Molly. As we were cleaning out my old room to make room for a nursery for Molly, I found my box with my prayers in it. Every one of them had been answered. I told my Mom and it really helped her with her faith. She also said she was so sorry about me being so miserable and that she didn't really realize it. She divorced him not long after our wedding.
Now when I look at the trees and think back to that day. I see it was the best thing I ever did. No longer do I feel sad to be alone or to sit under a tree. Now I have my family to sit under it with me and I know that with God, I am never alone.
Added: Just for fun, if anyone wants to see a live webcam of the park I was at, I can email it to you. Just let me know. I didn't want to post it right on here.