A little different.....

I always thought Parker was pretty mild with his autism. I mean, he isn't severe but he isn't Aspbergers. When I see him at home or at school, he seems only slightly different. Lately I've been taking him to a youth group with typical younger kids, younger than him, and I notice a big difference. I can't pinpoint how I feel when I notice this. Am I embarrased for him? For me? Am I wondering if it will change? Am I doubting my not fully mainstreaming him? Maybe a little of most. I don't think I'm embarrased myself. He is my boy and I don't mind telling people he has autism. It's harder around younger kids sometimes because they don't know why he is acting the way he is. I don't know how to help him fit in there and I'm not sure if there is even time during the hour to really try and socalize him. The kids there seem really sweet and the pastor and teacher are awesome! The pastor himself has 2 kids with autism and really does anything to make him feel comfortable. In fact, he is thinking about starting a disability ministry at the chuch. I think he feels a little bit like I do with Parker as far as not noticing it as much until he's around all the other kids. There is also the learning about God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. I wish I could tell what he understood and thinks. He asks me questions but I don't have half as many answers as I should. He thinks the Holy spirit is like the Christmas spirit and I'm not sure how to explain it to him. He does tell me he doesn't want to go to Heaven. He says it doesn't sound fun and he wants to know what God drives. The only way he would consider heaven was when I told him there were firefighters there, lol. Anyways, between him laying under the table, raising his hand and then not having a question, not liking any of the treats they hand out, talking during prayer and not wanting to do the group activities, I've seen him for who he is. He is a special guy that needs to be around typical peers more. He needs more modeling what to do and to keep trying. I see so much potential in him. We just need to know how to reach it.