A little different.....

I always thought Parker was pretty mild with his autism. I mean, he isn't severe but he isn't Aspbergers. When I see him at home or at school, he seems only slightly different. Lately I've been taking him to a youth group with typical younger kids, younger than him, and I notice a big difference. I can't pinpoint how I feel when I notice this. Am I embarrased for him? For me? Am I wondering if it will change? Am I doubting my not fully mainstreaming him? Maybe a little of most. I don't think I'm embarrased myself. He is my boy and I don't mind telling people he has autism. It's harder around younger kids sometimes because they don't know why he is acting the way he is. I don't know how to help him fit in there and I'm not sure if there is even time during the hour to really try and socalize him. The kids there seem really sweet and the pastor and teacher are awesome! The pastor himself has 2 kids with autism and really does anything to make him feel comfortable. In fact, he is thinking about starting a disability ministry at the chuch. I think he feels a little bit like I do with Parker as far as not noticing it as much until he's around all the other kids. There is also the learning about God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. I wish I could tell what he understood and thinks. He asks me questions but I don't have half as many answers as I should. He thinks the Holy spirit is like the Christmas spirit and I'm not sure how to explain it to him. He does tell me he doesn't want to go to Heaven. He says it doesn't sound fun and he wants to know what God drives. The only way he would consider heaven was when I told him there were firefighters there, lol. Anyways, between him laying under the table, raising his hand and then not having a question, not liking any of the treats they hand out, talking during prayer and not wanting to do the group activities, I've seen him for who he is. He is a special guy that needs to be around typical peers more. He needs more modeling what to do and to keep trying. I see so much potential in him. We just need to know how to reach it.

Beautiful rain

It's raining today and it's so nice. Macey is sleeping and the other 2 kids are at school. I just had coffee and a donut. Ahhhhhh. I feel like making bread or baking something. I should be looking over books and laws for my sons upcoming IEP. He is almost 10 and isn't reading yet. I'm proposing that he gets a one on one aid to help him learn to read. He is falling further and further behind his grade level and reading is the only way he can start catching up. Better get started. I just wanted to get on here and give my blog a new look. I hope everyones Monday is going great.

Make a wish!

"Good Morning" from "Bullfrogs and Butterflies"

Good morning!

Someone recomended this song from another blog. (Toys in the dryer). I love it! I've been waking the kids up singing it! http://youtu.be/4EESPWasCX8

Where does he fit in?

I hate that I feel like there isn't a perfect class for Parker right now. In his current class he doesn't really fit in since most of the kids are more mature and a lot of them just have behavior issues. Then there is his old class with a new teacher whos never taught a special needs class and doesn't have her degree in it. Where does he fit in? I'm keeping him where he is for now but I hope something more fitting comes along but I doubt it. Sigh...

Mollys birthday

I can't believe my girl turned 14. Where has the time gone. I'm posting a few pics from the party. I also included a pic of her in her cheer uniform and the sushi cupcakes I made. She had a really nice party.

My pretty princess

I have got to get batteries for my camera, lol. I keep using my cellphone. I bought Macey a cheap princess dress at Ross today. She loves it! Her favorite color is blue so this is perfect for her. I'm so in love with this girl!

Parker is doing good in school so far. I'm glad he likes it. He is having a little trouble making friends but I think it will come in time. He is such a sweet boy. Molly is enjoying cheer and had a good birthday. That's about it for now. Good night everyone.

My birthday girl and first day of school

Today my little girl turns 14. I guess she's not little anymore. I'm making her a giant chocolate chip cookie/cake for today and she's having a party Saturday. The kids both had a pretty good first day of school. I was worried about Parkers class but it seems to have worked out. I freaked out before I had all the information. I think he is in good hands. He was happy to go back today so that's a good sign. Here are a couple pics of the first day. Parker looks upset because Macey is trying to erase the chalk board and I told her no therefore she was throwing a fit, lol. Parker does not like it when Macey cries. Also I added a cute pic of Macey from a friends going away party.

Grumpy boy

I think all this talk about school and going to bed earlier and getting up earlier is making Parker grumpy. To make it worse he is getting a cold and won't really tell me how bad he feels. Today everything made him mad from the get go. No one could talk to him or tease him. He was not in the mood. He didn't start getting happier until Macey had a nap. I hope tomorrow he feels better. On the flip side, Macey was an absolute angel today. I worried that she would always be a little terror but she is doing so much better. I am just in love with this age she is at and all the cute things she says and does. Here's hoping it sticks, lol.

School next week

The kids are starting school next week. I'm really excited for them. Molly is starting high school and Parker will be starting a new school. I hope he likes it. The teacher seems really fun and he will get to be with some of his old friends. He says he's nervous about it. He says he will miss his old school. I think he will be ok once he starts. They have less aides in this class and it seems like an older kid class, so I really don't know how it will go. I will hope for the best but keep a good eye on things. Macey has been saying that she wants to go to school. I keep telling her, maybe after you turn 3. We have to wait and see if there is room after her birthday. First we have to work on taking the bottle away and potty training. I will enjoy some quiet but I have a feeling Macey will be lonely without her brother. We are going to have to go to alot of playgroups or Mom groups. Here's hoping next week goes well for all the kids.

Some new issues

Lately Parker has been more stubborn and upset than usual. Not a lot, but some for sure. Maybe it's because school is out, maybe it's he's not getting enough time away from his sister or maybe it's because he needs more sleep or is maturing some. I just don't know. He has been quicker to anger and quicker to say no to us. Lately when we've told him to do something he doesn't want to do, if he's in any kind of bad mood he'll say no and stand his ground. Sometimes we need to be more patient with him and say things a different way. I really think we are keeping him up to late because it's mostly at night when it happens. Sometimes he'll refuse to brush his teeth or get angry if the wrong person is reading to him at night. One night I told him we needed to change his underwear because I thought they were dirty. He insisted they weren't and would not take them off. I could see that they were and told him he had to. He said no for a long time. Finally he did it but he was mad and said he wanted to hit me. Poor guy. He seems happy most of the time at home. I'm going to try getting him to bed earlier and spending more one on one time with him and see if that helps. I'm also going to talk to his behaviorists on how I should handle it when he says no. Today I bought him some new books and he was really happy. I read them all to him tonight and he told me to come visit him in a little while. I'm really thinking he needs a little extra attention right now. Well, I guess I'll end this post. Someone needs visiting. :)

Play!

Parker has really been playing with Macey lately! It's such a great thing. She is becoming a good playmate to him and really teaching him things. They are both learning from eachother and Macey loves him so much. They are so cute together. Who knew they would want to play together with such an age gap. Also, having autism, Parker doesn't like to play that much. He prefers the computer, books and talking about firefighters. It makes me really happy. Parker is also learning to say no to her. He wouldn't and would always give her what she wanted. Now he is toying with saying no and even sticking to his guns. I praise him for it because he used to be afraid to say no or not give her something. He didn't want her to cry. Even when I would tell him not to give her something he would. Or when she would tell him no he would listen even if I said yes. It's a step in the right direction.

Firefighter games

Yesterday Parker and I went to a neighboring town to watch the, "Firefighter games". The firefightes from the county come and have races and relays. Since Parker's obsession is firefighters, we had to go. Now of course I wasn't sure of what Parker's expectations were. I assumed he thought he would get to talk to lots of them and have a great time. I hoped they would have more time for him this year. Last year most of them were so busy they didn't have time to talk. I warned him ahead of time that they might be busy a lot but that we would still have fun. We talked about what he would say and how he could just say Hi instead of just blurting out a bunch of random questions. Lucky enough right away he met a really nice firefighter that talked to him for a while. His wife was an office lady at his old school. They were so nice to him and he had a great time. When he is really happy he hops up and down and kind of snaps his fingers. He was doing that yesterday. He was in heaven. We watched the games, walked around to stalk firefighters and talked about what they were doing a whole bunch. We didn't stay for all of it, which I felt bad about. We stayed for an hour but I was getting tired. He got to talk to at least one person from each firestation so he was happy. When we were leaving we ran into a nice firefighter that let him get in the truck. He was a content boy. We didn't bring the other kids with us, this was just a Parker and I thing. He needs that sometimes. All in all I was happy about how things went and it did live up to his expectations.

Great expectations

That is what I had today. Great expectations. I planned to take the kids to the neighboring towns Rodeo Week events. Today was the penny scramble, stick horse races, bounce houses, rock wall climbing, dunk tanks, and other fun events. I thought for sure Macey would love the penny scramble. I talked it up to her and she seemed all ready to do it. Parker wanted to watch, since he was too old to do it, and also check out the firefighters booth. Molly wanted to check out the boys... When we got there Macey got so excited about the bounce house and snow cone machine that she said she didn't want to do the penny scramble. I took her over by the penny scramble and talked it up again. I got her excited about it and then the announcer says they are doing the stick race first. That did not go over well. She whined and trampled flowers. Parker cringed because Macey was upset. He buried his head and said he wanted to go. I tried to distract her but it wasn't helping. I asked Molly to take her to get a snow cone while we waited. That sounded good to her. They went to get them and they weren't ready to sell yet. Uggg! She came back even more cranky and only wanted to play on the bounce houses. With Parker getting upset about her being upset, and getting annoyed with people saying Hi to him, I decided to just go. I let them bounce a minute but it was obvious that no one was going to have much of a good time with all the crankiness. Molly wanted to leave also because the cranky kids were embarrasing her. Ah, the problems of a teen. When we got home you would have thought they had a blast. They were so happy. Macey even took the time to unravel a whole pack of dental floss. I had expectations of fun but I guess my expectations are not usually going to be met with 3 very different kids and ages. Next time I'm just going to think and say, "We'll see what happens". We'll try again next year. I added to pics from the evening. One is of the 3 kids waiting for the penny scramble and the second is Macey picking up leaves and putting them in her bag as she waited, lol.

My funny girl

You think she has a pacifier problem? (We call them suckys) I just love this girl! She is always doing something to make us laugh. Even Parker thinks she's funny. And would you look at the color of those pacifiers, all boy colors. I so wanted her to pick pink. I even saw pink cammo. No, her favorite color is blue and only blue will do. It's funny, that was Mollys favorite color when she was little. She's girly, but blue wins every time. Now if we could just break her from the bottle, potty train her and those suckys will be the last to go........ Ahhhh, wishful thinking.

My firefighter boy

Dreary days...

Lately the weather has been so dreary and cold. It makes you just want to stay in the house and mope. I guess I shouldn't complain, it's been super hot in other places in the country. I know the sun will come out eventually. My poor boy has a cold or allergies right now. He keeps sneezing and it's really bothering him. I hope he feels well enough to go to excel tomorrow. Even if he does go, he may not like it. They are taking a really long walk. I hope he's up for it. He would probably do anything to get a break from Macey, lol. I think Parker's favorite time of day is when we just get to spend one on one with him. He is relaxed and happy. I will be so glad when Macey is older and Parker is more used to her. He is happy most of the day, but ready to run when she cries or gets upset. The funny thing is, is that you can tell he loves her. He plays with her sometimes or holds her hand. He can be really sweet with her and she loves him to death. I think it will all work out in the end and they will be the best of friends.

I'm going to try and keep updated

Let's see, what's new? Molly graduated 8th grade and is almost 14. Parker is 9 and is moving to a middle school, yet not in middle school. That is where his sdc class is now. Macey is 2 1/2 and is a precious little tazmanian devil, lol. It's summer now and Parker is having a hard time being at home a lot. I think he likes the calm and predictablilty of school. He is going to a summer program but it's just 3 days a week for 4 hours. He doesn't love it because it's alot of art and exercise, but it gets him out of the house. He likes to be away from Macey because she is unpredictable to him and kinda loud, lol. He is doing pretty well though, I think. We have been getting outside a lot and he really enjoys Maceys naptime. Molly is going to be a cheerleader for high school next year and has started already. They are having fundraisers and keeping busy. I'm so proud of her for graduating 8th grade. Macey is my little wild girl. I've gotten completely lax with her. She is my 3rd so I think its kind of normal. She is so funny and sweet and cute though. I am just in love with her. I was holding her tonight and kissing her and tickling her and thinking how lucky I was to have her. It seems like yesterday when I thought I wouldn't survivie, lol. I'm still a stay at home mom. My heart wants to be with my kids. I am going to try and update at least 3 times a week. Here are a few pics of the kids. Molly

Macey with a marker in the backseat, lol.

Parker

Well behaved and differences

I was just thinking yesterday that Parker is very well behaved. He has had behaviourists come to our house since he was going on 5 and he is 9 now. I think it made a world of difference. I was in the grocery store with him yesterday and I was marveling at how good he was doing. We had a long talk about how it's not ok to be loud about people who look different. He seemed to really get it and tried hard not to say anything loud about anyone who looked different. He really liked me explaining it to him. Lately it's been an isssue with him. He asks a lot of questions and is very observant. When he sees anything different he asks about it loudly. I told him that it could hurt peoples feelings and that he could ask me about it quietly or later on. Also, this weekend was the neighboring towns-town yard sale. He loves to ask people if he can use their bathrooms while we are at them. We had a talk about it before hand and he didn't ask anyone to use their bathroom. I think with Parker it just takes a little prep work before hand to prevent behaviours. I am just so proud of him and how far he has oome. I am just in love with that boy! There are some issues that are hard no matter what we do. His anxiety. His fears overtake his behaviours. He almost can't function when confronted with his fears. (Macey crying, dogs barking, getting shocked by someone, really loud noises, snakes, and bugs) That is something we have to work on. His new thing that is hard is his fear of getting shocked. He drags his feet and gets shocked on playgrounds, our trampoline and in stores. That makes him not want to hold my hand when we cross the parkinglot from a store, yell in a store for me to not touch him and not want to play on an indoor playground or our trampoline. The other day we were leaving the grocery store and it was really busy. I wanted him to hold my hand but he was too scared of getting shocked. I finally convinced him to hold onto the shopping cart to cross the street. We need to work on deep breathing and other ways to refocus. Work in progress.

Changing my blog look

I swear, I haven't changed the pictures on my blog for almost 4 years. Yikes. I guess it was time to update. I didn't fix all of them, but some for now. I like the way it's looking. The blogs I love have grown but I can't put them all on here. I have to make this short since I have to pick up the kids from school in a minute. I almost forgot it was Wednesday and I need to pick them up early. That wouldn't have been good, lol. I'm sick today so I don't think my brain is working. My summer is going to be filled with Molly's cheerleading, helping Parker read and getting Macey off the bottle and starting potty training. Guess I better start planning. Everyone have a nice week.

You just can't tell

Today was one of those days when I think about the fact that you don't have to look a certain way to have autism. We were at Safeway doing a little shopping. It was just Parker and Macey and I until Bobby showed up. Macey was whining a lot because it was getting late and she was tired. She also wanted to walk but I wasn't having that either. I can't chase her and push the cart too. Parker was upset that I wasn't letting her do or have whatever she wanted. He just wanted her to be happy and not whine. I had to explain through half the store why I can't give her everything she wants. Finally we got to the checkout and were in line. Macey was whining because she wanted out again and she wanted to go home. I told Parker he could go over by the movies and look at them until I got done paying. Then Bobby showed up. My rescuer was there, lol. He stood with Macey and kept an eye on Parker. While I was checking out Macey started crying because she wanted to get out and be by Parker. We told her no because Bobby didn't want to go over there. Parker heard her and started cringing and closing his eyes. An elderly lady came by and asked him if he was ok. He wouldn't answer her. Bobby saw her and said, "He's just shy". He must have not been thinking he was upset. The lady looked worried but walked out. I would have said he was ok but that he had autism and didn't like his sister crying. Afer the lady walked out I started imagining what she was thinking. I guess it's none of my business, lol. When we got to car Parker was fine because he was going to ride with Bobby. I saw the elderly lady in a van across from us. I wished she would have talked to me so I could have told her why he was upset. Really, why did I care. I guess if I saw a child cringing and closing his eyes, I would worry about them too. To make a long story short, Parker looks like a typical kid but he doesn't have typical fears. I guess I'll never know what that lady thought or was thinking. She'll never know that he is a very loved, adored child that just gets emotional from time to time. Yes, he is ok. Sorry for the ramble, it just made me think.

I am such a good Mom! Lol

I am such a good Mom, lol. This morning we were running late. I was hurrying around and hoped Bobby had taken the garbadge down to the curb. I get everyone outside and open the van door. I see the garbage is still in the garage and I start grumbling. I open the garage and ask Molly to help Macey in the van. I drag the garbadge down to the curb and hurry and shut the garage door. I lock it and then turn around to ask Molly if she helped Macey in. All of a sudden I hear, "Get me out of here!!!" I had locked Macey in the garage! I hope she isn't scarred for life, lol. Molly thought it was pretty funny, so much for her helping me. .. .

So sad

I'm sorry to say that my dh's Mom died last week. It was so sudden and sad. The kids weren't super close to her, but they did know her. I kind of wonder what Parker is thinking. We've talked about death but it's a hard subject for him. I feel really bad for Bobby, now he's lost both his parents. He recently lost his Grandpa and his aunt. It makes you realise how short life is and how you need to let your loved ones know how much you love them. I would appriciate some prayers for his family and his moms boyfriend. He is all alone now and it's so sad. Thanks.

so true

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Moving again

I know I havent been around for a while. Life has beeb busy. We are moving to a new house on the first of the month. Its a four bedroom and right now we are in a 3 bedroom. Im so glad everyone will have their own room. Ill try and blog more now. Everyone is doing good.

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